Sad

I'm reading my friend's backdated blog posts from earlier this month, and there are tears streaking down my face. She had a tragedy early in December, and I was (am) 2000 miles away, instead of right there where I felt that I should have been. But she has friends and family, people closer to her than I am, and I trusted them to get her through it. I didn't want to bother or poke and prod. I hope I can offer my condolences next time I'm home; I hope I can see her then, offer whatever she needs. I wish I had been keeping up with her blog, or any bloggers, so I could have commented when she posted, but I haven't. I've been busy and not spending as much time reading the blogs of people I know as I should be. I can't even imagine what she's going through. I love you Ginger!

Lent is a four letter word

Today, I decided to give up something for Lent. This is the first time I've ever done this. I'm not really into giving things up, especially when I like them. And what's the point of giving something up for Lent if you don't like it in the first place? This one is gonna be a doozy too! Are you ready for it?

Are you SURE!?

Well, here it is...

...

...

CHOCOLATE! Yes, that's right, I am giving up chocolate for Lent. She of the constant having of chocolate chip cookies, the near daily mocha, the lover of all things chocolate (especially dark), is giving up chocolate for Lent. Really, the largest downside to this plan that I see is that I'm going to have to find a new caffeine delivery system, because I NEED my caffeine! So, I figure that when I walk into Dunn Bro's Coffee in the morning, and the person behind the counter asks me if I would like my usual small skim mocha with whip (yes, they know me there, what of it?), I will have to politely inform them that for some crazy reason, this crazy woman decided to nix chocolate 'till Easter and ask instead for a small chai latte.

This should be an interesting few weeks. I'm going to have to stock up on fruit flavored hard candy, because I need something sweet!

How long is it 'till Easter???

GrrArgh

I am looking for a new place because the roommate of doom is getting to be too much to deal with. I really really hate looking for apartments. What's online on these apartment search sites can not possibly be all there is, but it's the easiest thing to look for, and I hate having not enough money. But I do have more money than I had, so that helps. Where do you people look when you're trying to find an apartment?

I either want a studio for just me, or a 2 bed for me and the roommate that I like and also can;t stand anymore of the roomie of doom. Good roomie doesn't want to spend much more than we're spending now, so it just might be me all on my own, though I think she has it in her head that the only place we're gonna be able to find it gonna be like $2000/month each or something. Wish me luck, and give me advice please! Also, Cindy, wanna live with me?

Wanderlust

So, I was going to write about how I got a freaking job, but I'll leave that till later. Right now I'm going to write about the crazy that is my head. (and seriously, could I start more posts with "so"?)

If you know me, you know that I'm crazy. Not certifiable, but bad enough. One of those crazy aspects is how...not contrary, but I can't think of the right word right now, I can be. But I like things that are opposite of each other. I like black, but I also like very colorful things, for example. I'm a homebody, but I love to travel. I want to stay in one place for more than a year, but I'm always looking for a job somewhere else.

The thing that got me posting this was looking at this picture on Dooce's website. When I was in Oregon last summer, I couldn't wait to get home to flat land. And the instant I got home, I wanted the mountains back more than anything. I wanted to go back to Arizona and see the red rocks, the high desert, the beautiful mountains of Colorado, the dry heat and wonderful scrub of Santa Fe. God I miss it! And the whole time I was in Oregon, I was yearning for green. I wanted green grass and rain and leafy trees and green grass! Everything was dead and tan/brown. But when we got through California and into Arizona a little way, I started to fall in love. It was beautiful! I loved driving down a mountain pass into a valley and seeing it all stretched out before me. What I wouldn't have given to have been able to pull over and wander off to take rolls and roll of photos. Black and white that I could develop in the darkroom I don't have. I wanted to set up the perfect shot, swim in that pool we found (but was too cold to go in).

I wanted to stay in Sedona and Santa Fe for days, weeks. I want to move there and drink in the dry heat, bake in the sauna of the desert. Explore and live and run away from giant bugs and complain about the heat and work and play. I want to go back so bad! I want to see the rest of the desert, take pictures of rocky outcroppings miles past where Jesus lost his sandals.

But at the same time I want to go here and here and see trees covered in moss, and streams running through forests. I want to go back to England and explore the grassy hillsides, commune with the sheep. I want to go to huge cities in the hustle and bustle, or in calmer neighborhoods of those same busy cities. I want to go to Europe and find tiny bookstores tucked in side alleys in the Italian countryside. And in any of these places, I could probably live happily...at least for a while. At lease until my feet start calling again, wanting to wader away into that good night.

But God do I miss the high desert and the mountains. I want to spend time in Colorado some day. I want to move to Phoenix with my friend, see what a sprawling city is like, instead of one that goes straight up. But the contrary part of me is, I look at pictures of the red rock mountains of Utah and Arizona and I gasp and the beauty and the longing, but I have the same result when I look at pictures of all the green in the English countryside. I don't know id I'll ever be completely content to settle in one place, if my wanderlust will ever be sated. I guess only time will tell. If would probably help if I actually wandered a little too!

Caffeine

I knew I shouldn't have had that mocha at 8:30pm. That was an all around bad idea. I have no desire, and every need, to go to bed right now. Hell, for what time I need to wake up, I should have been asleep hours ago. Mom and I are going to a few art fairs tomorrow, and we want to get an early start because it's supposed to be beastly hot. Hopefully the weather is wrong and it doesn't get to 91, but I won't hold my breath for that one. Ok, I'm off to try to sleep. Wish me luck!

HELP!!!!!!

I don't know what I did, but now my top navigation bar and all buttons and text relating to using blogger are in a different language! I can post in English, and all the stuff I have posted (all user content) is in English, but everything else is in like Arabic or something. How do I fix this!!???!!??!?!?!?!?!

Something for nothing

I want to win something. I enter contests at different places (especially Pioneer Woman) all the time, and gosh darnit, I want to win one of them!!

I'm so boring

Today, I did nothing interesting. I got up absurdly early (8am), showered, dressed, ate, and went to work. On my way to work, I stopped by a gas station for a coffee, since I was so tired I almost fell down. I burnt my tongue. Work was uneventful. I stocked stuff, was at the registers for a big, and went to lunch with a coworker. Lunch was good at least. Had Leann Chin and nice conversation.

The I came home. I checked the internets, changed, and went to the Campership Dinner at my church. It's a dinner you buy tickets to, and the kids do most of the work serving and setting up and whatnot. It's to raise money for kids to go to camp if they so choose. I had Chicken Kiev and ate till I was stuffed. Now I am sitting in front of my computer, eating dark cocoa candy melts, and checking up in the Internets again. I really need to stop eating these things, it's starting to make me sick. Gotta go drink some water.

After I press Publish Post, I am going to go over to my grandmas in my pj's and see her and my aunts off to church. I would go, but I will just fall asleep. The I will finish Emily's apron, and wait for them to get back to chuch so I can go over and have a little snack. I will be glorious, providing I don't fall and kill my knee like I did last year.

In the middle there, I might talk to some people and try to fine some good The Host fanfic to placate me until I can get my book back. It's currently living with someone else. I miss my book. *sad face*

Well, I'm off now. Laters!